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Friday, April 17, 2009

Life. So far

So I put my bff on a plane back to New Orleans. I miss him already! So now its back to dieting and living again. I had been really bad this past week and scared to get on my Wii to tell me that I gained weight. EEEK! I am in the process of putting together my 101 in 1001 list idea from my friend Ashley. I thought there was no way of thinking of 101 things I want to do but since I'm on number 30 I think "wow, there are a lot of things I really want to accomplish!" I really need to change my life, not only for myself but for my children. There are a lot of things wrong in my life that really need an awakening. I have been having issues with my mom recently because of Easter and the things that the kids "HAD" to do and that I did not do. My attention was focused on the fact that I never go out and have not gone out since my oldest was 2 and we were staying with my aunt in Illinois. As a mom, you don't go out, you just don't. I know what you are thinking "Just because you are a mom doesn't mean you can't live life". Thats not what I mean. When you are a mom you don't think about what is going on on Friday or Saturday night like when you were childless, you think about "What am I going to feed my kids tonight" or "Will I actually get to sleep in past 8:30 a.m.?"

When Luke told me he was going to visit me for a whole week I forgot that same weekend was Easter weekend. Now, my kids are 1 and 3 and really don't care about the whole ordeal, they do care about getting the candy. I went out last Saturday night with my friend and got very intoxicated, which I NEVER do, so church and finding hidden Easter eggs was not in my vocabulary come the next day. My mom had an explosive fit. Now, I know that when my sister and I grew up we always had Easter but that was my mom, she was always like that. I find myself doing things that change the history of my childhood and I don't see anything wrong with that. My kids still got their chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, ect but I didn't hide eggs. I'm sure they will appreciate doing those things next year and the ones that come after. I may sound a bit selfish this year but I don't get to do things I want to do, thats what a mom is all about, your family comes first. Well sue me that I wanted it this way at this time.

But enough of my ranting. I need to get some things done but wanted to update on my blog since the last one was from a week or so ago. Hope everyone had a great Easter!


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