Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Things are starting to look up

So I just got a work at home job doing appointment settings!  The pay is great which is nice because then I can save up money to get out and get my life back up again.  My marriage is pretty much over but its okay, I'm living and learning and it will be fine!  Its all about moving forward, no more feeling sorry for myself!  I have really taken over my life since I let people run it for so long, I've lost almost 60 lbs and its been life changing for me, its really opened my eyes for the better.  My marriage had gone on for too long and its a shame that I didn't realize it sooner but I wouldn't have had my 2 beautiful babies in the process either!  I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me but just support me in what I choose to do!  My soon to be ex will be in my life forever which is fine but its better if we just stayed friends from now on, I love him because he's the father of my children but things in the past just made me fall out of love with him as the years went on.  There is more to that but I won't get into it.  People ask me if I'm dating and the answer is no.  I have kids and my new job to focus on and I don't want to have time for a relationship, maybe in the future I will but now, no....hell I may just have a guy that I go on dates with but thats it..the thought of actually settling down scares me right now and I don't want that.

Who knows with me...the crazy spontaneous girl!  But whatever, I just have taken my life back and now am haivng the "If you don't like it, bite me" attitude that I should have had years ago!

Rambling again which means I need to get off here and get the kiddos in gear...

Til later.


CJ said...

When I spoke to a friend about the possibility of leaving my 1st husband, she told me that it was possible I might spend the rest of my life alone ---and that if being alone was preferable to staying with him, I should leave. That helped me to make the right decision.

After we separated, I hated telling people I hadn't seen for a while, because they always got all serious and told me they were sorry. I hated the feeling of being pitied.

Then, I ran into an old friend and when I told her, she gave me a big hug and yelled "Congratulations!" It was the best response anyone gave me.

So, "Congratulations!" It sounds like you have your act together, you are feeling independent & confident, have lost weight, and have a new job. Also Congrats on what appears to be a situation which has not put your children in the middle of a mine field.

I think that we learn things about ourselves when we are single that we can't learn when we're married and vice-versa. So use the time to learn and grow.

You'll probably get over being scared of settling down again, but it might take a while. I didn't date anyone for 2 years. I met my 2nd husband 6 years later and probably would have been happy just living together, but he wanted to marry and wore me down. We will celebrate our 26th anniversary next month.

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